A Mother's Giving Nature

“My mother was finally leaving Irvine, her wish had come true. When she used to fight with my father, it always seemed if only she could leave the Dragon Café, leave Irvine, her life would be so much better, that only then might she have the chance at happiness. But when she had waved at me through the car window, the sadness in her face had felt like a stone in my heart.” (108)
“I watched my brother curled in my mother’s arms and I began to understand how much she sacrificed when she arrived in Canada; what she meant when she claimed that her life had been over the moment she stepped off the plane. For my mother the act of living here was in itself an act of love, my mother had given up her own life out of love for me and would do the same for Daniel.” (314-315)

Everyone in life has at least wanted something so bad, they waited for it. Most of the time, the thing that a person waits for, is something they wanted instead of something needed. In those cases, by the time the person gets what ever they wait for, they tend to not want it so much by then. But, needing something is different than wanting something, because if a person really needed something, they would always need it, but tastes change so they may not always want something. In Annie’s mother’s case, leaving Irving was something she needed. Although she seemed sad when she left, in the end, it was what was best for her. She sacrificed so much for her children that she needed to do something for herself for once. A mother gives so much for her kids, and it seems that she never really receives an even amount of what she gives. But, they still continue to give in light of that.

Times Are Changing

“On first inspection the images were similar. Both girls had their hair permed into curls, both were seated with their hands in their lap. Both had clear complexions, no moles to darken or to enhance their futures. I turned towards my brother and he raised his eyebrows at me. My mother’s face was stony. I felt everyone’s eyes on me, waiting for me to speak.
I peered more closely at the photographs and noticed that one girl looked directly at the camera with a hint of a smile, as if she held a secret. The other had little expression on her face, what seemed an unwillingness to reveal herself, or perhaps a hidden stubbornness. I knew from listening to conservations over supper, that both girls came highly recommended: both we healthy comma, obedient, quiet; both knew how to cook and sew, had completed several years of high school in China.” (173)

In this passage, Annie is ask to give input on her brother’s possible future bride. Again we see the process of a Chinese marriage and again we witness how girls are looked as a piece of meat to choose from. But, there are some differences in the process compared to the time of Snow Flower and the Secret Fan (SFSF). In this book, a matchmaker is no longer used, as families find the brides themselves. Also, back in the time of Lily from SFSF, it was the parents who determined the marriages, but in this book, Annie, who was “just a woman”, is asked for some advice. The girls in the photos had less skills to prepare them for life at he in-laws, but more knowledge since they were schooled.

A Mother's Sacrifice

“Those hateful Japanese, burned down my house and killed my husband. They destroyed the city. Because of them I ended up a poor woman with no husband and no home to return to. When I discovered that was going to have a baby, I had no choice but to stay with my sister and her family, but after she died, her husband saw my baby son as little more than beggars. Even the jewellery I was wearing, I had to sell. Aunt Hai-Lan had more luck than me…Sometimes, Su-Jen, I think that I was unlucky to have survived the war. I had to marry your father, an old man, just to survive.’ Her impatience had faded and now she sounded crushed by sorrow.’ I married him for my son. I wanted him to go to school, to have a future, But now he’s dead and I am here. Mo tin, mo meung. No money no life.’” (121) The Chinese resentment towards the Japanese is still present even to this day. During WWII, woman suffered greatly. Their families were torn apart and they were forced to work as prostitutes for the Japanese, so who can blame them for hating the Japanese. In this passage, Annie’s mother explains the sacrifice she makes for her children. She lost her husband and was left to provide and protect her son all alone. She had some family support until her sister died briefly after that point and was even discriminated against because of her current status as a single mother. Also, during those times, women were suppressed so much they had to rely on a man, so the only solution to situation was to marry any man who would take her. Since she was already married and with child, the only men who would want her must be of the older age. Annie’s mother sacrificed her youth by marrying an old man for her son. She left everything behind for a life she never wanted in a foreign country. In the last line, she says “No money no life”, which is true in her situation. If she had not have had to worry about money and finances, she wouldn’t have had to marry again.

Missing Identity

“MY FAMILY IN CHINA was a mysterious, shadowy presence. There were only a few black and white photographs that revealed nothing of the of the people behind the solemn faces. I had no memory of ever meeting them, although my mother said they always asked about me in their letters, letters in script I couldn’t read. Even Aunt Hai-Lan and Uncle Jong in Toronto seemed far away…I craved for details about my family’s past, the people back in China. I learned what I knew from bits of grownup conversations. I eased dropped whenever my parents and my brother talked, gathering each piece of information and storing it inside me like a precious jewel. (81-82) China was isolated from the rest of the world for thousands of years just to preserve tradition. One of the most important things the Chinese value are the family and culture. In the story Annie left China at such a young age, she barely had any time to create memories there, causing her to lose a part of her culture and past and leaving her with a missing of her identity. This is understandable because knowing about one’s past is just as important as how they are in the present. A person’s past is what makes that person what he/she is today, even if he/she was not the same in the past. This is common among immigrants who’ve left China at such a young age, and even more so today among American Born Chinese (ABC).

Bullies

In this passage, Annie is presented with a nice new bicycle and she decides to ride it around.
“I was concentrating so hard on pushing the pedals that I didn’t see the girl with the mean marble eyes standing the alley way.
’Hey chink where did you get the bike?’ she said. ‘Did you steal it?’
I tried to ride past her, but she grabbed the handlebars and thrust her face in in front of mine, narrowing her eyes as she taunted, ‘Get off the bike before I push you off.’
I refused to let go and tightened my grip, but I was no match. She knocked me off my seat, then climbed into the tricycle and pedaled away. The next afternoon…as I rode my bike back up the alley, the girl again appeared, blocking the road. She grabbed the handlebars and shouted at me to get off. This time I was prepared. I clenched my fists around my handlebars, took a deep breath, and kicked her with all my might. She yelped and let go and I tried to get away. But she grabbed my arm and dragged me off my tricycle. I fell on the asphalt, grazing my leg on some loose asphalt. “ (45-46)



In the previous post, I commented on the inferiority the Annie felt because she as an immigrant. Of course, this was not a one sided ordeal. The immigrant children may have felt inferior just because it was in their nature, by being immigrants, but the citizens of the country were not so accepting of their new neighbors. There were many who bullied others because they felt the power of being superior. The young girl who bullied Annie called her a “Chink” and asked if she stole the bike. The bully implies that because she was a Chinese immigrant, she wouldn’t have money to buy the bike, so she must have stolen it. Although it was not a pleasant moment for Annie to have been discriminated against, but this draw back in her young immigrant life allowed her to develop some courage to defend her self with. She was able to fight back, instead of cowering down because she felt inferior. Maybe now she did not feel as inferior.

Inferiority

In almost every situation, the minority group would feel inferior to the majority group. Also, by feeling inferior to another, self-esteem goes down. Living in a new country with such difference in culture, anyone would have felt insecure. Through observation, Annie sees that “as long as [she] did exactly what Miss Hinckley expected, as long as [she] kept [her] hands clean, [she] thought that [she] would stay out of trouble”, allowing her to be able to conform with school and let some of her feelings of insecurity go. With this in mind and the fact that Annie (Su-Jen) has a Chinese background, it is not surprising that Annie would be such an obedient girl. But, as this passage points out, being obedient is not the only factor in being able to fit in.




“I could tell from the pictures that Miss Hinckley was teaching a lesson about caring for our teeth. The tone in her voice told me that apples were good and that candy was bad. Miss Hinckley then surprised me by asking me to stand up in front of the class. I was even more confused when she asked Paul Conway to stand beside me. She asked Paul to open his mouth wide and gestured for me to peer inside. I saw a pink tongue surrounded by an arc of tiny pearly teeth. I was suddenly self-conscious of the brown, decaying baby teeth inside my mouth and I pressed my lips together…My cheeks felt hot and my eyes began to brim with tears. Everyone was giggling and whispering. I wanted to run away. No one else had teeth like mine. All the lo fun [American] children had been to the teeth doctor and I felt ashamed that I had never seen one.” (30-31)

In the passage, Miss Hinckley makes an example out of her for having had bad teeth. The teacher might not have had the intentions in embarrassing the child, but it wasn’t right for her to make an example out of anybody. Since Annie was an immigrant, and an Asian one at that, it was harder for her to fit in school, so she was extra sensitive about things that would embarrass her. Being new to the country, it was inevitable for them to become poor causing her to be unable to visit the “teeth doctor”. This was another thing that made her feel left out. This is an example of the constant feelings of inferiority immigrant children had to face. Also, whenever appearance is considered, girls and women alike would always be extra sensitive, since there is always an expectation of them.

Midnight at the Dragon Cafe by Judy Fong Bates

Judy Fong Bates's fresh and engaging first novel is the story of Su-Jen Chou, a Chinese girl growing up the only daughter of an unhappy and isolated immigrant family in a small Ontario town in the 1950s. Through Su-Jen's eyes we see the hard life behind the scenes at the Dragon Cafe, the local diner her family runs. Her half-brother Lee-Kung smolders under the responsibilities he must carry as the dutiful Chinese son. Her mother, beautiful but bitter, lays her hopes and dreams on Su-Jen's shoulders, until she turns to find solace in the most forbidden of places, while Su-Jen's elderly father strives to swallow bitterness, and save face at all costs. (http://www.powells.com/biblio?show=TRADE%20PAPER:USED:9781582431895:7.50#synopses_and_reviews)